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"He entered the room..."
The way to ratchet up the dramatic intensity in a scene is to bring an intruder
into a sacred circle. Let's say that Eden, a paradise created by God to contain
Adam and Eve, is the sacred circle. Adam and Eve, the first couple, are living the
easy life, the Edenic life, munching fruits and taking naps and walking around naked.
Eden is the biblical resource base. Eve is a girl, Adam is a guy. As characters in a
story, they have equal weight, equal value. And they have yet to reproduce. There
is no drama here in Eden until a serpent penetrates the sacred circle. Through a
sacred object (a big red apple), Eve hooks up with the serpent. One bite of the
apple throws off the perfect balance between male and female, boy and girl, husband
and wife, and paradise is lost to mankind. With the world of paradise lost, God
tosses them out. No more shy nudity. They go naked into the world, but they must
soon hit the malls for His and Hers wardrobes. When the money runs out, they descend
to dumpster diving. Because of the serpent intruder, Adam and Eve cross the
threshold from innocence into experience.
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Writing Exercise |
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1. (Action) He entered the room and...
2. (Dialogue) Nobody asked you here so...
In example one the room is the sacred circle and HE is the intruder. In example two,
the speaker controls the sacred circle and the intruder is represented by the second person
pronoun YOU. Practice this exercise. Agatha Christie got famous building a closed room and
bringing in a bunch of intruders who die, one by one, until...
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